Your marriage vows have been broken. Or your spouse has lied to you, abused you, neglected you. What can you do? You have entertained divorce. But, that seems so painful, more painful than reconciliation. And you think about the possibility of working on your marriage and seeing what would happen. It's a risk. It's even scary. You've prayed. You've wept. Can your marriage be saved? Can God do something to bring healing? Can you forgive? Can you trust him/her again?

"The Only Way Out of Grief is Through" 

Once you face the reality of a loss like an affair in marriage, or the pain of abuse, you need to begin to grieve. Because grief is a process and can't be cut short, someone said, "The only way out of grief is through".

The Power of Forgiveness

It's challenging to think about forgiving people who have hurt us, isn't it? We don't want to let go of the painful memories of abuse, put-downs, broken promises, harsh words, family or work offenses.

What does it mean to trust another human being? What should my reaction be when my spouse or significant other breaks my trust through an affair or abuse? Is it possible to rebuild trust in a relationship? 

Expressing Your Feelings is Works to Build Your Relationship 

You've been feeling very hurt about the affair or abuse in your marriage. Now, it's time to express your feelings and make a plan at the same time to work on your marriage. You need to be able to make some requests which will bring real healing and growth in your relationship.

Write out what you are disappointed with.

Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God. 2 Corinthians 7:1

Greg Nettle, pastor of the RiverTree Christian Church in Massillon, Ohio, was walking to his car after a golf tournament when he realized the remote trunk opener wasn't working. Neither were the automatic door locks. When he finally got inside the car, he saw the fuel gauge reading empty, even though he had filled up on gas less than twenty-four hours before. More frustrating yet, the car would turn over but then immediately die.

I returned home from running errands earlier today, and noticed that, while I was gone, my wife lit a candle on the mantle. It was a small gesture, but symbolic of a bigger role that she plays. For Susan, setting a candle aglow is a way of giving our home an air of elegance and warmth.  She strives to bring love into the home, and every day finds creative ways to do so.

"If both partners agree, is anything taboo?" "What about the use of vibrators?" "Is oral sex okay?" [These are just a few questions that Christian women asked about the sexual relationship in marriage from a survey that the uthors conducted.] But at the heart of each of these questions were two concerns: What does God prohibit in the sexual relationship between a husband and wife, and what does God permit?



We read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation and compiled a list of every scriptural reference to sex. As we reviewed our list it became apparent that God gives tremendous sexual freedom within the marriage relationship. But God also sets forth some prohibitions that we must honor.

It is likely no surprise to you that God has wired women and men differently. We all recognize some of these differences, but others often hide in plain sight. Shaunti Feldhahn, a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist, author and speaker recently wrote a fantastic book, For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men. In it, she recounts the surprising truths she learned about men after interviewing more than one thousand of them. Not long ago, I had the opportunity to interview Shaunti for our radio broadcast, HomeWord with Jim Burns. In our discussion, we spoke about ten things guys wish women knew about men. I think you'll find these ten things fascinating! Even more, I believe that in understanding these issues, you'll be equipped to lead your marriage to a better place!